(why yes, I think I’m extremely clever)
So, how is everyone doing in the midst of the Rona?
Fair to middling?
Anyway, you probably all know that many people were protesting that they couldn’t get haircuts. Barber shops and beauty parlors, as it turns out, are not essential. They were a mere luxury.
But what I think these “Karens” were missing out on was the opportunity to get really into the whole apocalypse theme that 2020 has seemingly presented us with. I rode with it and I gave myself a tequila fueled haircut. Because why not?
There are some great post-apocalyptic/ dystopian future movies out there with some tough and quirky female leads. And what do they all have in common? Well a lot, but in this instance specifically, I’m talking about their hairstyle.
Tank Girl
Lori Petty plays the titular character, in the film adaptation based on the comic by Jamie Hewlett and Alan Martin. Tank Girl and Jet Girl (Naomi Watts) try to get water from the Rippers. I think. And Ice T is in there somewhere. There’s mutant kangaroos. If you haven’t seen this one, I highly recommend giving it a go. It’s bananas 90’s desert stuff. Funny how in the era of Mad Max, a lot of people thought the world would mostly turn into a desert wasteland. Still possible given climate change and the ever present threat of nuclear war. Or if a comet hits, like in this movie. But for some reason in the future, you get to have wild, asymmetrical hair. Probably because people were giving themselves haircuts. Or maybe for the convenience, since there’s less water to wash it. Apocalypse hair needs some shaving.
Aunty Entity
Tina Turner is awesome as the leader of Bartertown from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. That chain mail dress! It’s like chain mail over football pads. Classic. She gets all mo-hawk with it and sides shaven. So in the post-apocalyptic world you will need not only a fashionable yet practical hair style, but also the wardrobe to match. There’s all kinds of struggles over resources in this desert world movie series. But there is no denying that Tina Turner looks tough.
Aeon Flux
In 2011, a virus has ravaged most of the population (eerily familiar) and 404 years later, Charlize Theron is in a rebel group to bring down the science group that leads and controls and all that totalitarian future fun. It’s based on an animated MTV series from the early 90’s. The animation was totally bangarang. Aeon is super weapon wielding and acrobat flipping, so the short hair is clearly practical for these types of activities.
Hollywoodreporter.com – imdb.com
Trinity
The Matrix series shows a world where technology brings about the apocalypse. Humans are in pods to serve as batteries for the machines and live their lives in the Matrix simulation. Well we’ve probably all seen it. It was totally groundbreaking in effects and the SFX still holds up 20 years later. Trinity rocks that short hair style, and it’s often slicked back. Practical for slinging bullets and for the limited resources in the “real world” outside of the Matrix.
Furiosa
The Mad Max series just keeps bringing the hits. And Charlize. She is really holding it down in the action genre and I am in no way upset. Short hair is just practical in the desert. And I’m here for that prosthetic arm. Basically she is serving the total lewk.
And there was me.
I’d like to say that I rose to the occasion, to fulfill my destiny in the post-apocalyptic world. Or that I had a big action packed fight scene. Mostly I was watching a movie and drinking tequila. I meant to give myself something more like Renly in The Witcher. But lacking self control at the time, I just kept going. I was giggling the whole time and thinking “ I just need an apocalypse haircut.” I did the side shave with scissors. I figured, it will grow back. It will be good in the summer when it’s hot. My 9 year old neighbor compliments my hair every time she sees me. So I’ve got that going for me, which is nice. But really, the more I thought about it, I was totally influenced by these bad ass on screen women. Bring on the desert.
nerd life. 